CALM ENVY

Romaji and English translation of the song CALM ENVY from the album STACKED RUBBISH and the compilation album TRACES VOL.2 BALLAD BEST by the GazettE.

Two lines were added to the end of the song and another was eliminated when they re-recorded the original song for TRACES VOL.2.

This is the TRACES VOL.2 version, NOT the original version.

Lyrics originally sung in English are in italics , and words or phrases I felt were implied are in [brackets] in the translation.

I also (usually) put repeats of chorus/verses/stanzas in [brackets] if they’re not written that way in the original lyrics for ease of singing along.

If he writes a word in the lyrics but doesn’t sing it, I put it in light grey to make it easier to skip when singing along.

I usually romajize katakana characters in CAPITALS, and keep punctuation and line spacing as close to the original booklet as possible. If you see me putting spaces before punctuation at the end of a sentence or writing things in mixed-case capitals, that’s because it’s how it was in the booklet.

Any comments I had during the romajization/translation process will be included as footnotes so as not to disturb the flow of the song. They’re not required reading, but Ruki does some pretty nifty things with his lyrics/kanji choices, or sometimes there’s further explanations about words or phrases in there.

CALM ENVY: Romaji

Furishikiru ame no ne ni shizumi sou na
Sono yakusoku wa dare no yume de dare no tame no yume darou

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
Douka shiteru ne

Tsunagu te to gyaku no te ni wa
Itsumo shiranai kaori ga shiteru

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
Iki wa chan to dekiteru no ni
Kuzure sou ni naru

Kotoba yori mo fukaku aishtekureru nara
Me no mae ni iru anata dake wo shinjite ikeru
Fui ni miseta kako ni fureru tabi ni moroku
Umetsuku senai kuuhaku ni namida ukabe

Yasuragi ni amae te te mo tonari no anata ga
Watashi no naka kara togire sou ni naru

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
Kotae wa emi ni obore
You don’t love, the everyday shadow when it was lost
Kakikesenai hodo kakaeteru

Anata ni nageta kotoba mo aishite kureru nara
Me no mae ni iru anata dake wo shinjite ikeru
Fui ni miseta kako ni fureru tabi ni itamu
Watashi no inai kuuhaku made aishitai
Kidzukarenai you ni namida wa nuguu kara
Kore ijou watashi no mae de warawanai de

Sayonara wo kakusu futari ja naku sayonara ni naku futari de itai
Omoi kaesu yori wasurete hoshii soshite watashi wo kuuhaku ni oite

Mou sugita hibi wo ottarishinai de mou kore ijou oite ikanai de
Sayonara wo nigiri nemuru watashi no honokana netsu wo tabako no you ni keshite [keshite]
Kaeranai hibi wo aishita hito yo

Wasurenu koe

Kaeranu hito

CALM ENVY: Translation

All sound seems to disappear beneath the pouring rain
Sometimes I wonder if you really wanted to make that promise, or if you just did it for my sake¹

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
So what should I do?

Even when I’m holding one of your hands, it seems like the other
Always clutches onto a lingering fragrance I can’t place²

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
Even though I can breathe just fine
I’m still falling apart inside

If you could love me as much as you say you do
Then I’d be able to believe in the ‘you’ that’s right in front of me
But whenever that past of yours unexpectedly crops up, I feel so powerless
And tears stream down my face when [I realize] I’ll never be able to fill that void [in you]

Even though you’re beside me, showering me with kindness
You still seem to be so distant

I want to see all of you
I want to love all of you
Your answer is a smile I could lose myself in
You don’t love, the everyday shadow when it was lost³
You’ve held onto her⁴ [memory] for so long, she will probably never fade away

If you could give me the love from those words you’ve tossed about
Then I’d be able to believe in the ‘you’ that’s right in front of me
But whenever that past of yours unexpectedly crops up, I feel so powerless
I want to fill that void inside you with my love⁵
I’ll wipe away my tears so you won’t notice them
But you never seem to smile around me anymore

I don’t want us to try to hide our “farewell” but instead, I want us both to cry over it when we say “goodbye”⁶
But I would rather you stopped looking back and just forget [your past] and let me fill that empty space

I don’t [want you to] chase after those bygone days anymore or keep shutting me out
[But all I can do] is fall asleep, still holding onto this “goodbye,” as that spark is finally extinguished like a cigarette
[It’s finally extinguished]
You loved those days you couldn’t return to [too much]

You can’t forget the voice

Of the one who died⁷

I was a little loose with this. The actual line translates more literally as something like “I wonder [about] that promise and whose dream it was, for whose sake was.” I translated it so it flowed better in English. Also, just for reference, 約束 yakusoku is a more on the serious side as promises go and means “promise, pact, engagement,” like, “I promise to love you forever,” as opposed to something made flippantly on the spur of the moment for something small – like “Oh yeah, I promise we’ll get together for lunch real soon!”
So this song is about a couple in a relationship that is starting to go south. It’s sung from the perspective of the current girlfriend. The guy can’t seem to let go of his past (in the TRACES VOL.2 version, it’s pretty explicit that the “past” is a past love who died – see the last footnote – and in this line it sounds like he’s holding his current girlfriend’s hand, but the other hand is like, still holding onto memory of that past lost love, so he’s unable to give her everything of himself because part of him is stuck in the past). This is also implied later in the song with the lines about his past coming up unexpectedly (he brings up his lost love on occasion – or is reminded of her – which is uncomfortable for the current girlfriend), the singer being unable to fill the void left in him, etc.
So I know it’s Engrish and we have to sort of guess at what he’s saying, but it seems like it might be something along the lines of “You’re not able to love me, because every day all you can do is love the shadow of the one you lost.”
While the pronoun “her” is not used, based on the final lines of the song we find out that he loved someone before the singer, lost her (because she died), and he can’t let her memory go, so it’s left this hole inside of him.
So いない inai is written in hiragana; since he didn’t use kanji to write it, this could theoretically be read 以内 inai as a noun/noun suffix meaning “within/inside of,” or 居ない inai as a verb meaning “to (not) be/exist.” I chose to translate it the way I did to make obvious use of 空白 kuuhaku “void, blank space” since it was referenced before as the void within him caused by his lost love; but this sentence could also be something like, “I want to love you until I no longer exist.”
I kind of think this is like, “Look, I don’t necessarily want to say goodbye, but if we can’t fix this, let’s not just pretend it’s all OK, I’d rather be honest about it and go our separate ways.”
These last two lines only appear in the TRACES VOL.2 version of the lyrics and clear up what the “past” is that the guy in the song can’t let go of. He had a previous love who died, it created that void inside him, and the current girlfriend is unable to fill that void – he’s holding onto the past so he can’t let her in, even though she loves him and wants to help him get over the one he lost.

Also of note, this line in particular can be translated kind of poetically like I chose to do (or even “the person who won’t [ever] return,” but since he is clearing up the mystery of the past, I still went with “died” rather than be vague about it). Alternately, 帰らぬ人 kaeranu hito can literally just mean “deceased, dead person.” It just sounded nicer translating the verb and noun separately instead of “that dead person.”