Sugar Pain

There is literally no way this song isn’t hellaciously dirty-sounding. I have a lot of notes on this one, including some explanations of the “Engrish” sections. This is gonna be a fun(?) ride.

1. The original lyrics say 理性 / risei (“one’s reason or sense”), but he sings 理解 rikai (“understanding or comprehension”) I didn’t have access to the original booklet scans, so I was going off what I found on a kanji lyric library; Ruki’s done switches like this more than once before, so it wouldn’t surprise me if the kanji lyrics were correct and he said the word differently while singing.
2. 度目 dome is “the Nth time” (in this case, 15). So he’s done whatever he’s about to do (wait for it) 14 times before this.
3. なにも知らない / nanimo shiranai can be translated a couple ways: “nothing is strange/unknown” or “I don’t know anything.” So this could be taken one of three possible ways, in my opinion:
   1. “Yeah, I’ve done this 14 other times already, this is just a regular thing for me.”
   2. “I’ve done this 14 times before, but I swear I’m not doing anything weird.” (yes he is, keep reading)
   3. “I’ve done this 14 other times but I still don’t know anything/understand why.”
      Any of these could work in this song. The first option makes him sound like he’s just settling in for his typical ‘Friday night,’ the second makes it sound like he’s defending what he’s doing, and the third makes it sound like he’s a little more unsure of his own motives. Take your pick.
4. OH MY GOD. There is no way to write this in English that doesn’t make me turn into an immediate 12-year-old boy on the maturity scale (and I’m a girl who is decidedly not 12 years old). 果実 kajitsu is literally “fruit” (like the kind you eat, like cherries… or apples… or grapefruits… or melons… see where this is going?). 濡らす nurasu is a verb meaning “to wet/moisten/dampen/soak/dip [in water].” A couple other ways to say this (all equally snerk-inducing) could potentially be: “fruit drenched with water” / “wets my fruit” / “makes my fruit wet/moist,” etc. I translated it like “wet t-shirt contest” type of wet ‘fruits,’ mmkay? I’m pretty sure he’s peeping on someone in the shower and has been doing so on the regular. (Hint: it’s his mom.)
5. Because he knows it’s wrong and gross to fantasize about and/or spy on your mom. I hope. That is some pretty sketchy sex ed.
6. Aaaand, the whole chorus is basically an internal dilemma about his incestuous desires. Bear in mind the “15 times” he talked about before is how many times he’s peeped on his mother, most likely in the shower/bath (because wet fruit euphemism). Basically, my understanding of the chorus is that he’s trying to figure out if he “enjoys” (read: gets turned on) watching his mom so much because he loves her or he’s IN love with her/wants to bang her.
7. 眠る nemuru can be “sleep” (as in zzz), “die,” or even “close one’s eyes.” (It does not, however, appear to have the English connotation of “sleep together” how you’d expect from the way this song is going – that’s usually reserved for 寝る neru – but then again this is Ruki and he likes symbolism, so maybe it does.) Regardless, all of these are equally creepy given how he was just talking about getting a hard-on watching his naked mom and now he wants to be in bed next to her.
8. So he’s decided that one of these days he’s gonna go ahead and act on his desires instead of just watching, and he doesn’t want “a mother’s love/affection” but something, ahem, more.
9. Not only has he decided he’s “in love with mom” and wants her to reciprocate, but he’s also fantasizing about how he wants her to do it. At a couple points in the song there’s talking (and some heavy breathing) in the background between him and her [presumably] that isn’t written in the lyrics, but it sounds like he’s fantasizing about how this whole thing will go, because the last thing she kind of whimpers is, “気持ち…” “kimochi…” which can be like, “It feels so…” Yargh.
10. よりも yorimo means either “in comparison to” or “rather than” but both are a little awkward with the sentence. Basically, he wants more than a normal mother-son relationship has to offer.
11. This can actually mean loving each other (‘I love you!’) or “loving each other,” if you know what I mean. I’m going with familial love because he has that but wants the other kind.
12. Even bearing his kanji-switch from before in mind, none of those options made sense in a direct word-for-word translation, so I went with “mind.” It’s driving him mad, and he’s losing it wanting to be with her, basically.
13. Well, wasn’t that fun? The song starts with panting in the background and some murmuring between him and (presumably) his mom. This guy has been peeping on her in the shower/bath on a fairly regular basis. He’s confused whether what he feels “down there” is because he loves her or lusts for her, and he doesn’t know how to separate the two in his mind. Then he basically devolves into “Yeah, I really want her, like want her, want her.” And we finish up with him fantasizing about his mom licking him all over, and that he’s going crazy with longing because he doesn’t want the relationship they have now. And the song ends with more ragged panting/breathing that gets louder and faster until it cuts out (and… it sounds like the guy and his mom so either he’s still fantasizing, or… eesh).  I love this song. I still love this song, but holy cow…