32 koukei no PISUTORU

Romaji and English of the song 32口径の拳銃(ピストル) (32 koukei no PISUTORU) from the compilation album Dainippon itangeishateki noumiso (gyaku) kaiten zekkyou ongenshuu and the EP COCKAYNE SOUP by the GazettE.

Translator's Notes
  • Lyrics originally sung in English are in italics in the translation.
  • Words or phrases I felt were implied are in [brackets].
  • I also (usually) put repeats of chorus/verses/stanzas in [brackets] if they’re not written that way in the original lyrics for ease of singing along.
  • Any comments I had during the romajization/translation process will be included as footnotes so as not to disturb the flow of the song. They’re not required reading, but Ruki does some pretty nifty things with his lyrics/kanji choices, or sometimes there’s further explanations about words or phrases in there.

32 koukei no PISUTORU1: Romaji

Koyoi wa JIMEJIMEshita “gogatsu ame” desu.
REAgimi no hon’nou ga GARAGARA to uzuku
Hikidashi ni kakushiteta HOKORI mamire no
Sanjuuni koukei no sametaku omoi PISUTORU
Rokujou hitoma no kono heya wa itsumo
Nananen mae no ANO yoru wo kurikaesu2

Me wo somuketekita jijitsu ni oitsumerarete
Mae ni wa susumezu mata tohou ni kureteshimau

Kodomo no koro zutto zutto hitori bocchi de
Tsurai toki wa kidzuite hoshikute naiteta
Boku wo suteta chichi ya haha no kao wo ukabete wa
Ikuyomo ikuyomo naite [naite]… koe wo agete

Koyoi wa JIMEJIMEshita “gogatsu ame” desu.
REAgimi no hon’nou ga GARAGARA to uzuku
Dourakudzuke3 no mainichi mo kyou de owari4 desu. 
DOKE DOKE DOKE DOKE mune ga harisakesou sa!

Nageyari ni nareba raku ni nareta noni tamerau bakari de miugoki mo torezu
Moshi umare kawaretara sono toki wa ima yori sukoshi demo ii shiawase ni naretaratte…
Yasashisugi no hahaoya to, shinpaishou no chichioya no ai wo ukete sodatta boku wa
Okubyou sa wo, yowaki jibun wo nikunda…

[Kodomo no koro zutto zutto hitori bocchi de
Tsurai toki wa kidzuite hoshikute naiteta
Boku wo suteta chichi ya haha no kao wo ukabete wa
Ikuyomo ikuyomo naite]

Itsuka sannin te wo tsunaide mata koko de isshoni kurasounette
Sou itta kara boku zutto matteta noni5

Doushite kaettekitekure nakatta no? Zutto… 
matteta nda… 
Shinji tsudzuketa shounen wa hinikunimo itsukago no hirusugi ni ryoushin no gen ni kaerimashita to sa…6


.32 Caliber Pistol

Tonight is damp with “May rain”
My instincts are tingling and rattling like they rarely do
Hidden away in a drawer [lies] a .32 caliber pistol
Heavy and cold and covered with dust
This 6-tatami mat room always
Dredges up2 memories of THAT night seven years ago

I’m relentlessly hunted down by the truth I tried to avoid seeing
And unable to move forward I once more lose my way

When I was a child I was always, always alone
At times when it was most painful, I cried because I wanted you to notice me
Recalling the faces of my mother and father who abandoned me,
Night after night, I’d cry [and cry]… raising my voice [in despair]

Tonight is damp with “May rain”
My instincts are tingling and rattling like they rarely do
Today marks the end of my addiction to my indulgent distractions3 
It feels as if my heart is going to burst and gush out [of my body]! 

Though it should be easy since I was so recklessly thrown away, I still feel myself frozen in hesitation
If I was given a second chance at life maybe then I’d be able to achieve a little more happiness than I have now
[But maybe if] I had been lovingly raised by a concerned father, and a kind and doting mother
I would hate my frail, timid self

[When I was a child I was always, always alone
At times when it was most painful, I cried because I wanted you to notice me
Recalling the faces of my mother and father who abandoned me,
Night after night, I’d cry… raising my voice [in despair]]

Someday, the three of us will join hands and live together in harmony
I always waited because you told me that
Why didn’t you come back for me? I always… waited for you…
Ironically, the boy who so faithfully kept believing returned home to his parents just past noon five days later…6


Translator’s Notes:

  1. The word in kanji in the title is 拳銃 kenjuu meaning “pistol, handgun, revolver” – but apparently the pronunciation given in furigana above it in the booklet is ピストル pisutoru “pistol” – so the actual title should be pronounced 32 koukei no PISUTORU as opposed to 32 koukei no kenjuu (though they both mean pretty much the same thing).
  2. 抉り返す eguri kaesu is written, but 繰り返す kurikaesu “to repeat, to do over again” is sung. The different first kanji in the written lyrics, 抉り eguri, is a verb meaning “bore out, hollow out, gouge, excavate” – so the memories are being forcibly dragged out of him over and over again and he can’t resist it.
  3. 安定剤 anteizai “tranquilizing drugs” is written, while 道楽 douraku “hobby, pastime; debauchery; indulging in alcohol/gambling/women/etc.” is sung. By this switch, I get the image of one or more self-destructive activities he partakes in on a regular basis in order to dull the ache of his past, similar to using anti-depressants but like, self-medicating in an unhealthy way.
  4. 終了 shuuryou “end, close, termination” is written, while 終わり owari “the end; to finish/end/close” is sung.
  5. So 待ってたのに matteta noni “and yet/still I waited” is written, but it sounds like 待ってあるに matte aru ni “I am waiting” is sung.
  6. The lines in grey were written in the lyrics but not sung. So I get the impression that his parents died, which is why they never came back to him (personally, I think he killed them for being abusive/neglectful, but it’s not explicitly said; either way, they probably died in that room by that gun). This part at the end sounds like he ends up killing himself with the same gun to be with them again: ironic, because he did everything he could to get away from them seven years prior, and now he wants to be with them again despite the way they treated him.

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